The perfect child

Be a 'good girl '

That's what she wanted me to be,

That's what I wanted the world to see,

I was molded to become the good child,

And lost the real me as time whiled,

Spent my childhood days praying for my family ,

Sacrificed the pleasures of youth and dreams that seemed heavenly,

I was considered as my family's saviour,

But also as the family's  battle initiator,

Time tainted each member's real nature,

And revealed the toxic characteristics of every  god made creature, 

I realised how my family's love made me sick,

But no matter what ,with them I make sure to stick,

 I die a bit every day dreaming of some space and freedom,

Struggling in doubt to hold or let go of fights that happen random,

Realising that no one can understand or save,

I put my feelings in write ups I rave